When we are bereaved, facing a single day can seem like a challenge, so it is understandable that facing a whole year can seem overwhelming. We need to be gentle with ourselves; here are a few ideas that can help:
- Get enough physical and mental rest
- Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations
- Soothe ourselves with uplifting films, books, music, tears and laughter.
- Get the support we need, by talking to family and friends and sharing memories
If we can help you find courage to face your future…please contact Turas Le Cheile for free and confidential support on 085 0566 819 – we are here to support you.
Some Self Care Suggestions:
While it is always important that we take time to look after ourselves, it is even more important when we are going through difficult times. During a bereavement, it can be easy to forget basic things like getting enough to eat and drink and getting enough sleep. Looking after ourselves in this way will keep the energy up for dealing with all that we have to face. It is also important to balance spending time with others and having some time for yourself. Try to have at least one adult who you can talk to openly and who knows as much as possible about what you are feeling and how you are doing. Keep up contact with the friends that you feel you can be yourself with. Give yourself permission to be yourself without feeling that you have to put on a certain show or mask with others to let them think you are managing better than you may feel you are. It might be important also to have time with friends who can make you smile or a laugh and give you an opportunity to think and talk about other things.
If you feel like crying, then it’s ok to give yourself a chance to do that. It is not a sign of failure or not coping. In fact, it may be a sign that you are dealing with what has happened and the sadness that is part of it. The same is true of laughter. It does not mean that you are not caring or not upset. It can be a healthy release when we are dealing with strong and unpleasant emotions.
As grieving is an individual journey it might be helpful to keep a diary for yourself or to go through photographs or even make up a scrap book or collage that represents your special relationship with the person who has died and what it was that they saw and valued in you. If there are places or activities that are special to you in remembering the person, it might be helpful to visit the place or engage in the activity. But let someone else know or maybe invite them to join you as it might cause some concern otherwise.
Sometimes people like to have a memento or ceremony that acknowledges the important place the person who has died has had in their life, how they have influenced and shaped their life and how they will be remembered. If this is something that interests you, think about how you might like to do that. If it is of no interest to you, that is ok too, as we say, we are all unique.